House of Fraser

Dear Sir/Madam,

I don't know if you're aware that a recession is still raging through the country, but everyone, including your middle-class target demographic, has been cutting back and denying themselves the pleasures they once took for granted. I, for instance, used to be a leading British plasticine sculptor, but the rising costs of both plasticine and additional materials such as petroleum jelly have forced me to cut back and not indulge myself as often as I did. We are in the midst of hard times, sirs, hard times.

Regardless of the sad stifling of my potent creative juices, I have taken offence to your cruel mocking of the British public's terrible plight. My good lady-wife Agatha decided to treat herself to a new lipstick after recovering from a severe case of gout and, because we are trying to be more economical, perused the sale section of your website. When she saw your BellaPierre lipstick was on offer she was delighted...until she saw the generous reduction you had set upon it: a penny. A penny, sirs! This discount actually equates to 0.007%. As a long-term House of Fraser customer, I am appalled at your insensitivity. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Yours disgustedly,

Derek Haselhurst-Horton