Dear Sir/Madam,
As a long-time fan of Jammie Dodgers I never thought I would be tempted to stray from my biscuit of choice. I've always found the Jammie Dodger to fulfill my snacking needs; its jam is always of the most delicious piquancy and its outer shell the very embodiment of crunchiness and buttery texture.
However, after seeing your witty advertising campaign, I decided to take the plunge and purchase your new Toffee Dodgers. How I wish I had refrained. As soon as I bit into the product, the bitter taste of disappointment washed over me and with every mouthful more and more of my faith in Burtons Foods was eroded away. Despite promising lashings of velvety caramel in your adverts, every biscuit in the pack was graced with nothing but the most parsimonious smear of what could charitably be called toffee. I've literally seen more goo in a nun's gusset.
I am extremely disappointed in this new variant of a timeless classic and hope you rectify the toffee issue immediately.
Yours hungrily,
Derek Haselhurst-Horton
